he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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