Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
