If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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