those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
