Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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