how can u be prego again
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
