hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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