She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
