Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
