And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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