Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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