their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
