ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
