omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
