your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
