school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
