she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
