She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
