I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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