Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
