i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
there is glitter all over my balls
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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