i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't deserve a penis
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
