Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
