that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
