Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
