I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
