i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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