We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
