Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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