I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
