I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
