I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
