Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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