omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
