I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
