I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
