So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i've created a new STD.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
