She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
