so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
