Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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