Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
