it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
