i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just found puke in my bra..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
