As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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