I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
