Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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