i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
