I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Randomize
