Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
