I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
