The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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